|payingattention (payingattention) wrote,|
@ 2008-08-17 20:01:00
|Current music:||"Hulahoop Wounds" -- At the Drive In|
#8: Bassists are faceless powerhouses
I'd really like to learn how to play bass so Jon, Brian, and I can form The Somethings. For some reason I've been feeling a weird compulsion to create anything that isn't in writing. Something that can just make people feel anything without them having to put effort into it or use their imaginations. Music does that to you. Besides, I don't know how to paint or draw anyway.
I've been feeling so much better. I don't know if it's the Lexapro or the fact that the summer is ending. It could probably be the fact that Diane said I might be suffering from "growing pains" (my diagnosis shares its name with a situation comedy--how appropriate), and finally I felt like I was connecting to something. Whenever I start to feel low, I realize it's that. It's growing pains. Giving it a name makes it so much easier to deal with. Or maybe dismiss. I can't tell.
This was the craziest summer I have ever lived. I can't say it was the worst ever, or maybe even bad. We all have to hit rock bottom before we can start getting better. I have so much hope for myself, and the only hitch I hit is my constant fear that I will never change. I will always be messy, lazy, and disorganized. But maybe I can force myself to learn some responsibility outside the realm of entitlement. "Well, I deserve this because I did whatever for you." "Okay, I guess I'll make said sacrifice because you did this for me."
Finally, I hope. Now, for song lyrics?