|payingattention (payingattention) wrote,|
@ 2008-08-25 03:50:00
|Current music:||Well now it's that Shakira song (UNDERNEATH YOUR CLOTHES!!!)|
#9: It's small but it's mine
Reading over my last entry has made me connect with the mindset I had right before I left New Paltz. I know it sounds ridiculous because that mindset was dominating over my life only about a week ago, but for some reason the second I set food in New Paltz that depression came over me again. I need to take deep breaths and remind myself that it's growing pains. Growing pains growing pains growing pains.
Beyond my desire to learn the bass I also want to take up graffiti art. I'm super excited for that because no one (NO ONE) knows about it. I feel like if I don't tell anyone, then I don't have anything to prove. My friends can just walk up to me while I'm creating and ask me what I'm doing. I can tell them then, and then everyone will be surprised and I won't have much explaining to do. Because, hey, I'm already doing it, right?
It's so super late and I'm drunk cuz I was drinking alone tonight. But it wasn't the bad sort of drinking alone, the kind I always told myself I would never do. It was creative. I got a lot of shit done, despite the fact that I've plowed my way through almost an entire pack of cigarettes and now my room smells like an ashtray. I'm going to finish off this bottle of water (as per Mr. Cooper's advice circa moving out day last semester) and go out onto the room with my iPod for a final smoke before I head off to bed. O joy o rapture at the fact that I don't have class until 3:00 tomorrow!
(and underneath your shirt
i can peel back your skin
and see that your bones and blood
are the same